I feel my mind has gotten more stable and a lot less hectic since Brian has been back at the house. It's been a year now since the beginning of March. Also....he proposed on March 4th in Loveland, Colorado! We hiked Loveland pass and at the top, he did it...wow, it was amazing. I was not expecting it at all. I LOVE my ring, too. It's totally my style. It's a black diamond in the center and two arches of white diamonds around it. I joke because it reminds of me a partial sun and a little moon - Solara and Lunessa <3... I'm super corny, I know.
Brian has been very respectful of me this past year and has shown love, compassion, kindness, forgiveness, and appreciation. I am hopeful that that will continue into our eternity in heaven. He really is my true match. Thank you, again, God for allowing him back into my life in this capacity. Our souls intertwine.
I met up with my dad, Lupita, and July's family yesterday at Reid Park. It was nice. I'm glad I ended up going. It was a fun evening.
The drinking:
I feel like it's gotten better, but there are days that it gets to be a little much...and I know it now. I think it's because I don't want to be a burden or disappoint my partner. Brian has been such a great help to me this last year. He sees some of the stupidest shit that I do. I try to do it when he's not around, but that also sucks. Seems shitty that I wait until he's gone to have a night into myself to do whatever I want. In this case and lately, it's to drink. I know that nobody likes it. I, personally, don't like that they shame me for it, but it is what it is as Brian says. Tanya and I had a discussion just last Saturday when she picked me up to hang at their house that I should cool it with the drinking. I know that the worst stuff that happens to me or that I do is when I'm drunk. It's ridiculous some of the stuff that I've done. To be honest...I'm ashamed. I ask God to forgive me for that and for those that I've hurt and sinned against during these stages of mine in the past two years. If anything, I know I need you more than ever, God. I know that I've strayed and forgotten how you and your wonders work.
I started a Pinterest board for wedding ideas: https://www.pinterest.com/fatalfaith/wedding-ideas/
Tanya made an appointment for tomorrow at 5pm at a wedding place called. She's so excited and helpful. I never tell her how much I appreciate her.
