The quiet in the storm?

I really don't know what I'm doing or where my life is heading. 

I am in Draper, Utah. I've been here since April 5th. I came on a whim. 

Greg and I were separated and spoke for about 2-3 days before I decided to drive up here. 

 I packed whatever I thought I needed to live off of, the Bicos, and drove up here without much thought. I was happy, nervous, and proud of myself for making that decision. I always take a long time to make any decisions, so that was a leap of faith in some ways. 

 I am drinking wine as we speak. cabernet. I got a bottle from the top of his room's shelf. Anyway, I feel like I shouldn't be drinking,but at the same time, I feel as if it's the PERFECt time to be drinking. I'm depressed, sad, lonely. alone, heartbroken, etc. 

I'm just sad. Emotionally and literally. I'm pathetically sad.