I noticed I seem to like things with little or no words. Let me use words to explain. Some of my favorite songs and movies are ones that are not lyric heavy. Emotions flow through music or noise,but I prefer to infer than to have something told to me. Let me come to my own conclusion.
Anyway, real quick. I've had some weird stuff happen to me lately and I really blame the meds. My body and mind are both telling me that they're rejecting them. The mix of the mood stabilizers and the
back at it after working for a bit. I am wondering if I'm going to notice the withdrawal of the medications. I want to stop cold turkey. I know I can. I think I'm mentally strong enough. The old Evy is. Kyle seems to think I am and so does Al. These are some of the people that still know and believe in the old Evy. This new one is giving up on herself. So...use that.......give up on the old Evy and renew yourself. Give into the new one. This is who you are and who you want to be. Embrace it and love it. Appreciate all that you've fought for and accomplished with those goals in mind and don't give up on them now.
This makes me think of the SAW series. More specifically, the idea behind who Jigsaw was or what his ideas were when planning. Example 1 in the first movie is the guy who tried to kill himself a month earlier when he was a middle-class American who was healthy and still didn't appreciate what he had. Second, mark....the "sick" guy. He also didn't appreciate what he had and he was trying to play people with his little sick act. Anyway.....that's a weird tangent.
I'm watching the SAW series, that's why I was on that thought. John was a very interesting person. Dr. Gordon was not. The intern was disrespectful, etc.
Ok.
How did I let the meds take control over so much? My thoughts, my dreams, my emotions, my reactions, my visions, my energy, etc. It's insane.
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